Saturday 27 July 2013

Saturday 20 July 2013

Bath Bomb

Bath 4th XI's Brownsword ground at Lansdown Hill lies within the former estate of William Beckford, whose gilded folly, partially hidden by trees surrounding the water tower, was once renown as a landmark for drunken farmers on their way home from market. There was certainly a little folly and a hint of the drunken farmer about the Saturday 1st XI's performance against top of the table Bath, which went awry from the start with the end of a remarkable run of winning tosses. It's just possible that there could be a coin tossing module in Bath University's Sport and Exercise Science course and that on hearing of the Cowboys 100% record the opposition convened a seminar and several tutorials. And so it came to be that the Cowboys took to the well-manicured field, short boundaries fore and aft, the hot sun gleaming on Beckford's gilded belvedere (knobby bit).

Both batsmen attacked RT1 and MattD's opening overs, the ball racing off the bat across the dry turf faster than the sports cars on Lansdown Road, the score advancing at a run a ball. Skipper Ben turned to Asad and Kalu to try to apply the brakes, the former, while accurate, giving the batsmen ball speed to utilise, the latter's flight and loop requiring them to work harder for their runs. It was Kalu who eventually broke the century opening partnership with a successful LBW appeal and without the score advancing he bowled the No.3 for a duck. Asad's good line was finally rewarded when he claimed the scalp of the remaining opener, LBW for 68, but on 139-3 the opposition had only used up around half of their overs with more batting strength to come.

Vociferously urged on in the field by 2nd XI skipper on secondment Jefferty, the Cowboys struggled to keep a lid on the simmering Bath innings. It's testament to his indomitable spirit that his chirruping remained undiminished earlier after spilling a tricky chance that he did well to get to. Kalu remained remarkably economical and had the opposition at 169-4 when he struck for the third time, inducing the batsman to pop a catch to Justin.

With Ange and others behind and in front of the wicket working hard to cut off boundaries, the next partnership amassed a half century together as the Landlord attempted to evict them. Mercifully, notice was served and executed the ball after being launched in the direction and altitude of the water tower, when this time it evaded the heave and hit the stumps: 224-5. Ev too toiled to prevent the run-a-ball progress, succeeding by a whisker but unable to prise the batsmen out. MattD had a second spell, RT1 didn't and in the last few overs as the ball travelled aerially, Ben bagged a couple of good catches, the first of which was worthy of a scrumpy moment vote or two. The battering ceased after 40 overs with the score on 271-7.

Tea appeared as if it had been magicked by Bath Cricket Teas Inc. and heavily comprised these wraps that they have now. Bread is so passé in Bath. There was also a bowl of pork things that coach and sidelined skipper Iggy was seen stuffing into his face when he thought nobody was looking and the remains of a watermelon last seen in a field in Stanton Drew.

Ev and Ange set about chasing down the total, the former finding a couple of early boundaries on a pitch that seemed to offer little assistance to the bowler, except for the ball's tendency to die and keep low outside off stump. Perhaps receiving one that didn't, Ev was caught in the gully before Ange had got off the mark, the bowler rewarded by being replaced at the knob end by his skipper. Ben defended while Ange played himself in then attacked the second change bowler, the runs not quite up with the required rate, but on the way there. When Ben's defences were breached and one got through to bowl him, the less able defenders in the batting line-up took cautious note but when Asad fell the next ball in the same manner, they collectvely gulped.

Justin strode out at 38-3 to take on the hat-trick ball and associated chatter, survived and set about reconstructive surgery on the innings. Ten runs later, after hitting several boundaries, Ange was also bowled from the same end, bringing Kalu to the wicket to face the music: It wasn't to his liking and forcing a drive he snicked his second ball to the keeper: 49-5. Barney's batting baptism for the team could hardly have been less comfortable as the opposition's confidence grew and the total trickled past fifty, then, eager for a run when Justin wasn't, he was run out by a well-drilled arm. 58-6 became 62-7 when Justin was bowled to become the Bath skipper's fifth victim with the Cowboys still two hundred runs adrift. Seemingly undaunted, MattD faced five balls, hit two of them for four and the last down the throat of long-off.

Jefferty and the Landlord held up the inevitable, blocking, swishing and sweeping their way to the highest partnership of the innings, the former surviving more balls than any of his predecessors until caught for 16 by the greedy opposition captain who was to have a hand in eight of the ten dismissals, the last of whom was RT1 who surely bats better wearing his underwear over his outerwear. The Landlord remained theoretically undefeated on 16 as the Cowboys were all out for 118 in the 23rd over.

On a day devoid of much amusement, except for Jefferty's sartorial elegance / anorexic Billy Bunter impression, Ben's catch was possibly the Cider Moment and Kalu's bowling the only performance that merited the Man of the Match vote. Everyone was fined for being rubbish, except blameless scorer Erica and several brave supporters who'd already suffered enough.

Scorecard



Saturday 13 July 2013

Meth Melt

On a molten Ashes afternoon, the Saturday 1st XI entertained Midsomer Norton Methodists' 1st XI at at the furnace in Farmborough. The pitch looked a bit rough and patchy and may have been given a drink earlier in the day, but surely if he won the toss, skipper Ben wouldn't ask his team to bowl first in the heat? Thankfully, after he'd worked his voodoo spell on the coin, he opted to bat first and those that could retreated to the shade as Ev and Ange walked out to open up.

The wicket soon exhibited a few signs of unpredictable spite that the bowlers exploited well, Ev falling to a catch in the gully with the score barely in double figures, Ange falling to a catch off the same bowler after the promise of three boundaries and the foundations of a partnership with Ben. Justin's early departure, bowled on the back foot, left the Cowboys on 31-3, scored at just under three an over. The tempo picked up with Asad at the crease, appearing as capable and solid as the skipper with whom he steered the team away from danger, the former finding the boundary with powerful blows, the latter accumulating with deft touches and defending with perpendicular correctness. Together they sailed the total past a hundred as the opposition, wilting in the sun, juggled the bowling around but couldn't dislodge them: By the time Asad had hit his tenth four to bring up his half century, the pair had amassed the team's highest partnership of the season. When he fell shortly afterwards for an impressive 53, he'd helped the Cowboys to a very handy 150-4.

The resolute skipper remained, joined by AB batting on his debut for the team, both intent on wringing as many runs as possible out of the remaining overs. Selflessly, after hitting a boundary AB sacrificed himself in a run out, leaving Davey to grab a few more vital runs with Ben, who, after 40 overs with the score on 179-5, ended up on a jug-avoiding, disciplined captain's innings of 49 not out, proving that food poisoning the night before doesn't necessarily affect one's batting.

And so to tea, which was a long time in the making; the beans, peas, carrots, lettuce and spuds were planted in May, the strawberry, gooseberry and redcurrant bushes are a few years old. Cakes and sandwiches don't grow on trees.

Leaving sidelined coach Iggy to do the washing up and get out of the sun for a bit, the Cowboys took to the the field with a rather mangled ball. Davey and Garnier opened the attack but the batsmen found runs reasonably comfortably in the first dozen overs and Ange was kept busy behind the timbers: His agility and safe hands made the breakthrough when the Landlord came on, tied the batters down a bit, found a sweet spot on the pitch and induced an edge behind. The other opener then skied a catch to Asad in the covers, putting a second dent in the innings and the score on 69-2. Having been hit for a six - the ball lost and replaced - Lalith changed ends and soon had his adversary caught low down by Davey, coming in from the long on boundary with a fag in his mouth, which was presumably there as an aid to concentration.

The replacement ball was noticeably livelier through the air, although its preponderance to swing, despite being advantageous, also took some controlling. Before the end of his spell the Landlord had the chance to remove the young No.5 who was getting set, but the return catch was upon him too soon and he didn't have a fag in his mouth. This proved costly as the fourth wicket partnership grew, reaching fifty as Asad and Lalith toiled without any luck, before Asad had a successful LBW appeal as reward for bowling a good line and Lalith inflicted a double blow to the Meths by bowling the No.5. As with buses, the third wicket came along behind with Lalith bowling another to reduce the opposition to 128-6, some fifty runs short with less than ten overs remaining. Would the tail wag or whimper?

The low sun was still fierce, the hedgerow dark, as veteran swinger Garnier returned for another spell: Novice AB sent down a tidy handful of overs, preventing the run rate from accelerating and adding to the squeeze. Boundary patrol intensified, the whole team on high alert to prevent the opposition from scoring. Then Garnier heroically bowled the No.8, followed by the No.9 and the batting was running out of breath a couple of dozen runs short of the target with only a couple of overs remaining. Asad picked up his second wicket by bowling the No.10, adding further weight behind the unanimous Man of the Match nomination as the innings petered out on 162-9, securing a hard fought victory for the Cowboys by seventeen runs.

Cider Moment nominations were multitudinous and included Ange and Davey's catches but omitted Ghanaby's feat of cycling to the match, mending a puncture en route and fielding like a gazelle.

Scorecard


Saturday 6 July 2013

Nailed

Following complaints, it should be noted that all cricketers and events appearing in this report may be fictitious. Any resemblance to reality, real persons, living, dead, undead or asleep is purely coincidental.

At the station, team manager and taxi driver Iggy anxiously awaited the late arrival of the train from Gloucester carrying last week's Man of the Match. Meanwhile, chez Lalith, a deep sleep was disturbed by the persistent ringing of a phone. What with being stalked in the supermarket earlier while buying provisions for tea, so far Ben wasn't having an easy time of captaincy. It didn't get any better when on the way to the ground, Ev was spotted driving in the opposite direction. Somehow, within the hour the Cowboys were ready with eleven on the field at Farmborough versus Nailsea 3rd's ten.

Any more of this winning the toss business and there'll be an inquiry, but once again Ben carried on the successful streak, asked the opposition to bat first and his bowlers and fielders to toil in the heat of the baking sun. RT1 and Garnier coped admirably, any occasional wayward spewings often adeptly collected by birthday boy Ollie behind the stumps. However, it's regrettable that the young man incurred a five run penalty for the inappropriate placement of his helmet.

A few early runs leaked across a fast outfield until both bowlers got their reward for accuracy, guile and swing, RT1 with a positive LBW decision and Garnier hitting the stumps. The third wicket fell within the first ten overs when the opposition skipper foolishly swept across the line to Garnier and was without hesitation adjudged to be LBW.

Perhaps it was then that a batsman came to the crease bereft of a bat and caused much mirth and around about this time that Ange performed some aerial acrobatics to stop but not catch a ball that was thwacked at him from close range. Ollie made no mistake in taking an edge to give RT1 his second wicket although the batsman lingered a while in trying to tell the umpire, and everyone else in the valley who'd heard the edge, that he hadn't touched it. Perhaps, in the bushes, someone looked down at the twig that they'd just snapped in two.

Garnier was replaced by Asad, firing it in on a good length just outside off stump, swinging the ball enough to prevent the batsman from getting anything but an edge on it, one of which (not the one that the skipper dropped) AB - making his debut for the 1st XI - confidently leapt and caught above his head at gully, later voted as the Cider Moment. With five wickets down and barely fifty runs on the board, Nailsea looked rather ragged but maybe not incapable of recovering. They didn't help their cause when their most successful batsman hit one straight to Tooley and set off down the track for a run that his partner didn't want: a calm, accurate throw to Ollie saw him easily run out.

Asad bowled out his economical spell, rewarded for his accuracy with a second wicket for a ball that clipped off stump, leaving Lalith to mop up with some loopy turners, which when they pitched, spat this way and that and were too good for the shortened Nailsea tail. He also ended with a brace of cheap wickets to have the opposition dismissed in the 29th over for 79 with the tea urn barely tepid.

Out to bat strode Ev and Ange, gladiatorial with their blades in the heat of the arena. A watchful start against some nippy bowling paid dividends as the pair settled and enjoyed an unbroken partnership before tea, Ange smiting some powerful blows, Ev accumulating with footwork and style.

Tea was delicious, varied and ample although the earlier supermarket stalking incident appeared to have befuddled Ben into purchasing enough watermelon to feed the population of the Mendips. A lot of it would later mysteriously appear as cattle fodder in a field near Stanton Drew.

The refreshed opening batsmen continued where they'd left off, assuredly pushing the score on at four runs an over and reaching their half-century partnership, shortly after which Ev was caught at mid-on for a solid 24. In strode captain watermelon to join Man of the Match Ange, who was playing too well and having far too much of a nice time to get out. Neither of them did as they knocked off the remaining runs - Ange undefeated on 30 -  helping the Cowboys to a nine wicket victory in the 21st over, a vast arsenal left unused, surplus to requirement, a bit like the watermelon.

With no refreshments to hand and another two dozen overs left in a glorious summer's day, various routes were taken to Stanton Drew where both were found and to a backdrop of distant hot air balloons and nearby bovine copulation, the 2nd XI fought to complete a splendid victory against Whitchurch 3rd XI.

Scorecard